Happy New Year

I will try my best to stay on topic here and write about what I got on here to write about. It will be hard since my mind is a little bit of everywhere right now and has been for years I guess (see I am already starting to go off topic).
I received a wonderful phone call from my aunt this morning. She told me that it was good seeing me and seeing me smile and laugh, genuinely. She said it has been a long time since she has seen this and she isn't sure what is going on, but it seems like I am in a good place and I should keep it up. I thanked her for her kind words and I am going to try to remember them when the self doubt comes creeping in and the negative self talk is just too loud that I can't hear anything else.
Yes I am in a better place then I was a year ago and a much better place then I was two years ago, but I am not where I thought I would be at this point in my life. I am not happy like I should be. I spend my days sick to stomach, thinking I am not good enough at any thing. I worry about my children, money, my marriage. I know this sounds selfish, but I am worried about the summer time and my kids and me now working full time during the summer. I have to stick my kids in a daycare and I won't be able to go places with them or do things with them.... it is really getting to me. I know a lot of people are in the grown up world and have to work all year round and their kids go to daycare and mine will be fine (I hope), but for 13 years I have had summers off and for my sons 9 years and my daughters 6 years I have been home with them and we would do things and go places.
I was just thinking to myself the other day that it is about time to go see a psychotherapist again and try again to get my head straight, I don't think that will happen see there is that self doubt and negative talk coming back in.
I just have to come to terms with the fact that I have to make the best of what I have, do the best I can, and that I will never have my cake and eat it to.

Happy New Year

How to make a construction paper hand print flower picture

How to make a construction paper hand print flower picture

How to make paper heart wreaths

How to make paper heart wreaths

How to make a snow pine cone decroation

How to make a snow pine cone decroation

How to make monster rocks

How to make monster rocks

How to make bottle cap bugs

How to make bottle cap bugs

How to make salt dough keychains

How to make salt dough keychains

Turbo- the movie blah

Well the kids, my mom and I went to the Drive-in theater the other night to see a double feature. The first movie was Turbo. It was okay and I mean just okay. The kids were not that interested in it, they sat in the back of the CRV and talked and played around the whole movie. My youngest said the next day that she really liked it, but I bet she doesn't remember anything happening in it. It had the typical movie plot and typical happy ending. I clapped at the end just because it was over.
I did however like the soundtrack and wouldn't mind having it to own.

Epic- I laughed and I cried

The kids and I went to see Epic today and it was a really good movie. I laughed then cried, laughed more and cried more, then laughed some more and was really sad when it ended.
The first sad part was not that far in when the Queen died, but not before she passed on the future of the forest on. 'My children are going to be quoting the movie for a while. One of my favorites was when the slug told one of the Leafman that there, "Is a pile of shut your flat face over there, why don't you go pick it up."
I do recommend going to see it. Clayton has requested that we buy it as soon as it comes out on DVD.

Just thinking out loud

So since I seem to have 3 blogging places I am thinking:
This one can be for my crafts and mommy stuff, just every day type things.
Tumblr can be for my writing- maybe my "racy" writing (I need somewhere to post that stuff huh?).... but then I would have to not link it to my professional website or anything else for that matter.
And my personal website can be for writing type stuff- the stuff that everyone can read...
So what do you think? Comments would be helpful and are encouraged.
Please and thank you.

Wow it has been a LONG time

Well it has been a long time since I have posted anything here, huh? Well Summer is in full swing here and I am very sad that it is already the end of June. There is so much that I had planned and wanted to do, but just haven't accomplished it.
Tomorrow is another day though and I am hopeful to get things on track around here. It is mostly me that needs to get on track and then everything else should fall into place.
I haven't done much writing yet this summer of any kind. No poems, no short stories, haven't worked on my manuscript, haven't written anything for Examiner. I am sad about that too. I guess I could go on all day (or night in this case) about things that I am sad about, but I'm not going to waste any of our time on that. I am going to focus on the good things...
I am thinking about taking the kids to see Monster University tomorrow before Clayton's dentist appointment.
I have been given permission to tell my "current" employer to stick, so now I am freaking out about finding a new job. It would be nice to stay in teaching for the summers with my kids, but would I be happier doing something else. Oh I don't know and I guess I won't know until I do it huh? I have to be positive and know that something good will come my way.

Well the washer just beeped and I need to switch the clothes over to the dryer and get to bed.... because tomorrow is my new day!!!!!

Pot o' green planter

Pot o' green planter

Blarney Stone

Blarney Stone

Nail polish and washer necklace

Nail polish and washer necklace

Looking for a cheap, meaningful gift from the heart to give your love for Valentine's Day? Look no farther. Every "woman" loves jewelry and this necklace is made by you.

Napkin ring

Want to spice up your dinner table? Check out these easy homemade napkin rings.

Napkin ring

New Traditions

Christmas and New Years 2012 has brought about some new traditions that I would like to start, I mean continue.

Jeff was watching a show on the History Channel about Christmas. I asked him if he learned anything and he said yes. Here is the one thing he took away from the show: Our traditions are not as old as we think they are.

What does that mean you ask? Well what that means is that we as humans long for the way things used to be, in our lifetimes, not our parent's/grandparent's/great grandparent's lifetime.

There have been some changes to my Christmas traditions since I got married and started my own family. The first change that I made was I stopped all the running around. I want my children to be able to enjoy their toys, their house. So a few years ago we started having Christmas Eve dinner with Jeff's family. We usually have salad and lasagna. After dinner we open gifts and sit around talking and the kids play with their new toys. Before dinner we go out front and sprinkle Magic Reindeer Food on the lawn. The kids usually make this special food in school so it is ready to go. We come back in and the kids head to bed.

I have one rule about Christmas Morning: you can't touch the gifts until everyone is downstairs. Clayton jumped out of bed this year and ran downstairs, by passing my room. Luckily Jillian had already come in to wake me up, so I was able to yell down and remind him not to touch anything until we got down there too.

One of my favorite things from Christmas when I was a child was staying in my pajamas all day, eating, sleeping, and playing with my new Santa gifts, so I wanted the same for my children. We get to stay here doing nothing much until about 3 PM. At that time we go to my parent's house for dinner and gifts. My brothers and their families are there as well. We have ham, homemade mashed potatoes, and lots of other yummy stuff to eat. My mom also makes homemade lemonade. My mom loves to cook!

For a long time on New Years Eve we used to have a party at our house, people stopped coming so we stopped having it. I would also have dinner for my family before our party, which I still do. For the past 2 years my brothers and their families bailed on dinner, so it was just my family and my parents.

This year for New Years Eve we did a few new things which I would like to continue next year and the years after that. One thing we did new this year is that we made a rice krispie treat train. It was easy and fun and I have the molds so it will be easy to do again next year. The other thing that we did new this year is that we cut openings into milk jugs, filled the bottom with sand and added a candle. People over by my parent's house do this for Christmas time and that was my plan this year, but because I was feeling under the weather and Christmas seemed to come and go quickly we didn't get to it. Since we did it for New Years Eve I thought of it as "Lighting the way for the new year" and I would like to welcome the new year the same way for years to come.  The third thing that I would like to make a tradition is me and Jillian doing our nails. It was fun and a chance for us girls to bond and get pretty.

There were a few parties this year, but none seemed kid friendly, besides until the kids get older I think staying in on New Years Eve is just fine. That way if they need a little nap they can have one.

Where there any new traditions that you and your family started this year?

Happy New Year

Happy New Year everyone! My new year has started out pretty wonderfully.

 I am very sad that my Winter Break is coming to an end. As a matter of fact yesterday when I woke up yesterday and had a heavy sadness fall over me. I am sad that I have to return to my job here very soon.

 I have taken a look at what I had planned on doing over this break of mine and I haven't accomplished any of it. That is right, I had planned on cleaning the house, de-cluttering my piles of papers, cleaning out and organizing the kids room's, cleaning out and organizing our bedroom. I had planned on doing something with my manuscript, doing something with my resume and sending both out to people. Of course so far none of this has been done. So what have I been doing you may ask?.... Well my first day off I went to the grocery store (it was way overdue) and then went and did the Room Mom thing at Clayton's school.

I ended up getting sick for Christmas. Luckily I wasn't as sick as some other people, but I still tried to take it easy and relax.

Instead of cleaning I spent as much time with the kids and Jeff. I didn't get on the computer very often since that was not spending time with the family. We had a wonderful time playing games, sled riding (bring on more snow please), making crafts, wrapping gifts, baking goodies. We went sled riding in our front yard a couple of times and went to Rapid Run Park to sled one day. We went as a family to eat at City Barbeque, China Buffet and Cancun Mexican Restaurant. We watched some TV together and the new movies the kids got for Christmas. I think we have watched Paranorman two times so far, we watched The Lorax, and Puss and Boots. The only one we have not watched yet is Tin Tin.

Yesterday afternoon the kids and I made a rice krispie train and made "yard" candles out of milk jugs. Last night for New Years Eve my parents came over for dinner. My mom brought White Chicken Chili and I made a pot of Homemade Veggie Soup. After dinner my parents hung out and watched a Goosebumps movie with us. About 9 PM Jillian and I went upstairs to paint our toe nails. My toes are a dark reddish color, Jillian wanted one set of toe nails to be painted pink and the other set to be painted blue. One the blue toe nails I put pink roses and on the pink toe nails I put blue hearts. At 10 PM I let the kids go out front to let off some of their party poppers (just in case they didn't make it to midnight). Jillian was afraid of the loud noise that some of the poppers made, but she cheered for the confetti! About 11 PM both of the kids laid on the couch to watch some TV. Jeff sat between them and pestered Jillian (earlier in the day she told him that it was not his job to pester her. He said, "I know it isn't my job. It is my hobby") Clayton played his new DS. At 11:11 I told them to make a wish, I told Jillian to wish that she could stay awake til 12. I went back upstairs to paint my finger nails and came back down about 11:40ish and Jillian was out. Clayton asked me if I would wake him up in 10 minutes and then he was out. At about 11:55 I woke them both back up. It took a few minutes to get them to open their eyes, but I knew that if I would have let them sleep through it they would have been very upset this morning. As a family we watched the ball drop on TV, then Jeff, Clayton and I went out front to let off the rest of the poppers and blow the horns. A family up the street were banging on pots and pans. Jillian stayed in the house blowing her horn and chasing the dogs. Both kids were in bed and back to sleep by 12:30 AM.

They slept until about 9:30 this morning (I think), man I am going to miss the sleeping in. And it is going to be REALLY hard getting everyone up for school tomorrow. I am really getting sad to think there is only about 1.5 hours left before I have to send them to bed for school tomorrow. Anyway, today as a family we went to eat lunch and then bowling.

So no I didn't get the stuff done that I was hoping to, but what I did do was spent a lot of quality time with my family. The time we got to spent together this winter break was so much more important then cleaning the house. They are growing up so fast and I don't want to miss it. Besides I needed some of the me time and the we time. I am not going to beat myself up for the lack of things done, but I am going to praise myself for giving time to my child, husband and me.

Happy New Year to you and your family. May 2013 be the best in every way!

So excited: I have a new website!!!!!!

My wonderful, lovely, amazing, intelligent husband gave me one of the best xmas presents EVER!!!!!
He gave me a website to help promote myself as a writer. He took time to create it and set it up. He took some time to read (dreadfully I am sure- since my writing isn't his "type" of choice, seeing how it isn't a manual of some kind or technical.)

Please check out my website and like my new Facebook page as well.


cldoering.com

https://www.facebook.com/CLDoeringmodernlit


Check back often. My goal is to write more this year and "publish" more on my site, Facebook page, my blog, and my examiner.

I have a lot of other goals too. My next blog may be my goals. If I put it out there I may be more likely to achieve them right?

May be you can help push me towards reaching them! Are you in?

My (xmas) and bday wish list

Kitchen towels

Kitchen wash clothes

Hand towels for 3 bathrooms: (blue, yellow, and light blue would work)

Bread Maker

Bras from Victoria Secret

Trifle Bowl

Grater

Boots (whatever is in style now size 8 or 8.5) (and boots with the fur)

Good walking shoes

Oven Mitts

Major wish list:

Photographer classes

Editing/Query Letter Writing course

An editor and a publisher

Resume and cover letter writing service

A new job 

Happy Shopping

Now that the holidays are over I need to update my list since my birthday is only a few short months away:

Bread maker

Bras from Victoria Secret

Boots

Good walking shoes

Dress shoes for work

A year paid membership to Weight Watchers

A family membership to the Union Terminal Museum Center

Passes to Kings Island for me and the kids

Zoo pass (not sure when mine expires but I think I have sometime on that)

Photography classes

Editing/Query letter writing classes

An editor and a publisher

Resume and cover letter writing service

A new job

I will add items as I think of them.

Please feel free to purchase any of these for me ;) 

Much love-

Crystal

  

Merry Christmas

I know I am a day late, but I wasn't feeling the best yesterday. We had a great Christmas Eve and Christmas Day here at our house.

My holiday started on Sunday with Yule, it was a wonderful, cold outdoor ritual hosted by someone of the Viking path.

On Monday my mother in law came over for dinner and gifts. Right before bed we went out and sprinkled Magic Reindeer food on our front lawn for Santa's Reindeer. We came back in off to bed. Clayton had a hard time falling asleep and about 10 PM or so I had to go up and lay with him. Jeff, thank goodness, came to wake me up a little after 11. I was lucky this year that I didn't have anything to assemble, just packages to open and put batteries in. I did have a couple of gifts to wrap for the family, but that was a fast job.

Jillian climbed in bed with us sometime Christmas morning, but didn't ask to go downstairs, I am not sure she realized that Santa had come. Shortly after I heard Clayton's feet pounding on the steps, he didn't bother to come get us up. I had to yell down to him not to touch anything and Jillian sprang from the bed to join him. I woke Jeff up and told him he better hurry and get up.

My favorite part of Christmas morning (well besides seeing the kids get excited about their gifts) is staying in my jamies and sleeping off and on all day. Clayton told me that he used his new camera to take a picture of me sleeping on the chair, hehe I did the same thing to Jeff last year. I really had an excuse to be sleeping, I was not feeling well at all. We watched a couple of the new movies that the kids got for Christmas: The Lorax and Puss and Boots. Of course I didn't get to see the whole movie of either movie. Thanks Joe for cleaning up as I dozed.  At 3 o'clock I got a phone call asking if we were coming to dinner at my parents. Apparently dinner was at 3 PM this year and I didn't know it. My dad asked if I was going to call and find out. My feelings were a bit hurt because of course I started to assume things. As I cried Jeff asked me why I was so upset and I told him I was and I didn't even want to go. He told me "don't go". We went of course, but we were closer to 4 than 3. Everyone was eating and almost done by time we walked in. I was grouchy and snappy towards my brother. I felt like everyone was whispering about me, again assumptions. Come to find out all that I had assumed before we left the house was not true and I will never know if my other assumptions are true or not. After dinner the kids opened gifts and played for a while. My mom was pretty sick and she laid on the couch most of the time. Good thing the babies wanted to snuggle with her on the couch.  My night ended falling asleep on the couch watching The Grinch on TV.

I was woke up this morning with Clayton in my face saying, "Why are you still sleeping? Look at the time." I rolled over to see the clock, it was 9 AM. Man I couldn't believe my kids slept that late. As a matter of fact Jillian was still sleeping. I had to peek in on her to make sure she was still breathing. So far today we have made fortune cookies with Jillian's fortune cookie maker, Jeff and Clay worked on their wooden cars, and played in the snow! Playing in the snow was great! The kids went sled riding down our front hill, Jeff and Clayton had a snow ball fight. Jillian was supplying Jeff with giant snow balls. Now me and Jillian are snuggling on the couch warming up and Jeff and Clayton are building Star Wars Legos. The plan is to go have dinner at City Barbecue here in a little bit.